EVIL XBOXXX (Collab)

=This is the brain child of three loners the collab of Givemepancakes, AlgebraicBoy, and FillyBoSEKTOR. SEKTOR's lines are in italics, Alge's are in bold.=

''OKEY SO I WUZ IN A GERAJ SAYLE ND I SAW DIS ABANDUND CONSL CALD DA EVIL PATRIXXXBOXXX 360XXX. DA OLD MANN SED IS WUZ HONTID SO I TOOK IT. IT KAEM WIV A GAEM "EVIL HALOXXX"'' And as soon as I picked it up the game restored my ability to grammar. Must have just been a coincidence.
I plugged in the console and shoved the game disk in like a sonofabitch. It started out you were some really lame green dude on a ship named: The REALLY big ship. The REALLY big ship gets invaded by this guy named Assbiter, and the game begins. You get attacked by Xenomorphs and God's Favorite Chimps the whole time, and even Fat Kids.

Past this point, the game began to get really glitchy. Several characters began to gain hyperrealistic eyes, and state my name, date of birth, surname, and Social Security number. But I thought, It's just a glitch, keep playing. Soon the Xenomorphs began to shoot apple juice out of their sphinkters, and arranged themselves in position to spell what appeared to be "ur next."

''Then everyone died with hyperrealistic blood.'' I turned the game off, but luckily I just got another game in the mail. It was called "G33RZ 0F W4R" and the cover depicted some grey shit. I decided to play it. Unfortunatly it was a disc for the PS5, but I played it anyways. As soon as I put it in the game started, no loading screen or anything. There wasn't even a title screen.
It starts out you're this odd little grey thing with a gun. You pressed SELECT to move forward, which is fucking stupid
Then I died. I was like "FUCK YOU THIS GAME IS FUCKING BULLSHIT" Then, I swear to god the console spoke to me. It said "OH YEAH?" And it ''had me tied up to a room, and forced me to watch the new Disney channel for the rest of my life. FML.''

I called my buddy who was one of the original Ghostbusters. He said "Just ask who called you", so I did. The bomb exploded, and Paul McCartney ran away.